Temptation is God testing you to see if really you are determined to stop what you said you want to or have stop. One thing with temptation is that it comes with memories of the past joy you derive when doing that thing you've stopped doing.
I feel temptation I is God sent, this is because in Mathew 4:1, emphasis were made on 'LED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT TO BE TEMPTED OF THE DEVIL' this scene took place after Jesus fasted for forty days and forty nights. This fasting was for him to start his mission on earth.
God will not tempt you with what you don't like rather he would test you with what you like or what you have repented of, if you succeed the angels of God will come and minister to you matt 4:11 "AND THE ANGLES OF THE LORD CAME AND MINISTERED TO HIM" If Christ our saviour had fallen for these temptations, what would have been the fate of we the believers of today. After overcoming this temptations, Jesus started his mission on earth and ended successfuly. I want to give us this word of encouragement which can be found in 1 cor 10:13 God will not tempt us more than our ability which mean the temptations we face is according to our abilities.
It also went further to tell us that God will make a way for us to escape from the temptations. The period of temptation is the period of battle between the holy spirit AND the tempter, let's make the holy spirit win this battle as we over come temptations. To overcome temptations, we need the holy spirit to help us and also the word of God. The Bible said we overcome the world by the word of God and the testimony of our mouth. With this I hope I have encouraged us that no temptation is above our ability.
ABOUT Great Johnson: Great Johnson is one of our new contributors, this article is her first publication on allroungospel.com. She hails from Ekiti state, Nigeria. She is currently a student of Ahmadu Bello University, zaria. Send her an email now: great.johnson98@gmail.com
The holiness of God is a theme of the Harrison Ford film Raiders of the Lost Ark.
At the end of the film Raiders of the Lost Ark there's
one of those iconic moments. The evil Nazis have succeeded in locating
the lost Ark of the Covenant ("It's a transmitter for talking to God!")
and are unwise enough to take the lid off.
If you're one of the very few who haven't seen it, no spoilers here other than to say it doesn't end well.
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It's pure hokum, obviously. But think about the idea
behind it. There's something in that box which is too pure, and too
dangerous, for human beings to look upon.
The same idea is expressed in Exodus 33:21-23, when God hides Moses
in the cleft of a rock and hides him while his "glory" passes by, so
that he sees only his back. It's there in 2 Samuel 6:7, when Uzzah puts
out his hand to steady the ark when it rocks on its cart; God strikes
him dead.
God is radically different. God is dangerous. God is holy.
And this idea of holiness runs all the way through scripture. At its
root is the idea of being separated. Sometimes this means that things
are completely destroyed, like the Amalekites in I Samuel 15. Other
things are not designed for common use, like the Temple and its
furniture. Objects – and people – can become contaminated and need to be
purified. The whole race of Hebrews is 'holy', separated from those
around them, and intermarriage between them is forbidden – see Ezra 10
and the tragic story of those who have taken foreign wives being
required to divorce them.
In the New Testament, holiness takes on dimension. "Just as he who
called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: 'Be
holy, because I am holy'" (1 Peter 1:15-16, quoting Leviticus 11).
But what's New Testament holiness about? Not, in spite of the
Leviticus quote, separating yourself from anything that might cause
ritual contamination. Instead, Jesus turns holiness on its head. It
isn't about keeping yourself free from taint by making sure that avoid
anything that could compromise you. It's an active movement of love and
compassion towards another person. It's a personal commitment to do good
things, no matter what they cost.
The old ritual holiness laws looked a lot like the anti-infection
measures hospitals put in place to control outbreaks of disease. But
citizens of the new Kingdom of God deliberately go out and infect people
with grace.
That's why Jesus healed people on the Sabbath, even though it was
technically forbidden (you were allowed to stop people getting worse,
but not to do anything to make them better). The parable of the Good
Samaritan turns on the purity laws: the priest and the Levite didn't
want to touch the man lying injured by the roadside because he might
have been dead. They wouldn't have been able to worship in the Temple
because they'd have been ritually unclean. For Jesus, that isn't
holiness, it's hypocrisy.
We sing about holiness all the time. We dwell on the holiness of God,
by which we often mean something uncomfortably like that whole Raiders of the Lost Ark thing.
We pray to be made holy. But I'm not sure that we really understand what we mean by that.
Holiness, in the minds of many people, is about what we don't do.
It's about not drinking too much, or not drinking at all. Christians
aren't supposed to gamble, have sex before marriage, lie, cheat or
steal. We're supposed to have more integrity than other people.
In the New Testament Church, these were all issues: read Acts, or
Paul's letters to Timothy, and you can see them grappling with things
that were new and strange ideas for just-converted Christians.
But Jesus made holiness about what you did do, not about what you
stopped doing. All these things are important, but none of them are
radical. None of them change the world.
For Jesus, being holy means encountering individuals nice, saved
people would normally run a mile from. For him, being a friend of tax
collectors and sinners didn't compromise his holiness, it was the
essence of his holiness.
Should we be careful what we say and what we do, and be sure that
we're not bringing the name of Jesus into disrepute? Of course. But
religion that's all about keeping our noses clean has nothing to do with
Jesus.
He said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).
So here's what that might look like.
1. People who live full, abundant lives aren't
scared of getting things wrong. In his letter to the Colossians, Paul
criticises legalistic Christians: "Why, as though you still belonged to
the world, do you submit to its rules: 'Do not handle! Do not taste! Do
not touch!'?" (Colossians 2: 20-21). They're relying on rules to keep
them from doing the wrong thing, instead of relying on God to help them
do the right thing. Holy Christians are found among people who are not
respectable.
2. People who live abundant lives don't spend all
their time in church. The mark of a Christian who's still living by the
rules rather than by grace is that they need walls around them to make
them feel safe. But you don't have to spend all your time going to
Christian meetings, seeing Christian friends and doing 'Christian'
things. That's old-school thinking, as though you're holier when you're
separate from 'the world'. Jesus-type holiness is being different in the world.
3. People who live abundant lives are evangelistic
even when they don't talk about God, because they make him interesting.
There's a stereotype – fed, it has to be said, by Christians who've led
narrow, cramped and joyless lives and seem to want to recruit others to
do the same – that being a Christian is all about what you give up. But
that's not what Jesus says. Being a Christian is about living every day
intensely and being full of curiosity about the world and our place in
it. When most people's horizons are limited to the things of this world,
that's holy.
4. People who live abundant lives are focused on God
first, and only second on the world that he's made. Yes, holiness in
the new Kingdom Jesus brought is directed outwards, towards other
people, rather than inwards at making sure we don't offend. But it must
always be anchored in faith in God. "We love, because he first loved
us," says John (1John 4:19). Love that's cut loose from its moorings
will drift. Holiness in the world is only possible because of our
relationship to a holy God.
Holiness is about separation. It means we're different. But that
difference isn't expressed in keeping the world at arm's length, it's
expressed in embracing the world in the love of Christ.
Scripture has much to say regarding the drinking of alcohol (Leviticus 10:9; Numbers 6:3; Deuteronomy 29:6; Judges 13:4, 7, 14; Proverbs 20:1; 31:4; Isaiah 5:11, 22; 24:9; 28:7; 29:9; 56:12).
However, Scripture does not necessarily forbid a Christian from
drinking beer, wine, or any other drink containing alcohol. In fact,
some Scriptures discuss alcohol in positive terms. Ecclesiastes 9:7 instructs, “Drink your wine with a merry heart.” Psalm 104:14-15 states that God gives wine “that makes glad the heart of men.” Amos 9:14 discusses drinking wine from your own vineyard as a sign of God’s blessing. Isaiah 55:1 encourages, “Yes, come buy wine and milk…” What God commands Christians regarding alcohol is to avoid drunkenness (Ephesians 5:18). The Bible condemns drunkenness and its effects (Proverbs 23:29-35). Christians are also commanded to not allow their bodies to be “mastered” by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19).
Drinking alcohol in excess is undeniably addictive. Scripture also
forbids a Christian from doing anything that might offend other
Christians or encourage them to sin against their conscience (1 Corinthians 8:9-13).
In light of these principles, it would be extremely difficult for any
Christian to say he is drinking alcohol in excess to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).
Jesus changed water into wine. It even seems that Jesus drank wine on occasion (John 2:1-11; Matthew 26:29).
In New Testament times, the water was not very clean. Without modern
sanitation, the water was often filled with bacteria, viruses, and all
kinds of contaminants. The same is true in many third-world countries
today. As a result, people often drank wine (or grape juice) because it
was far less likely to be contaminated. In 1 Timothy 5:23,
Paul was instructing Timothy to stop drinking the water (which was
probably causing his stomach problems) and instead drink wine. In that
day, wine was fermented (containing alcohol), but not necessarily to the
degree it is today. It is incorrect to say that it was grape juice, but
it is also incorrect to say that it was the same thing as the wine
commonly used today. Again, Scripture does not forbid Christians from
drinking beer, wine, or any other drink containing alcohol. Alcohol is
not, in and of itself, tainted by sin. It is drunkenness and addiction
to alcohol that a Christian must absolutely refrain from (Ephesians 5:18; 1 Corinthians 6:12).
Alcohol, consumed in small quantities, is neither harmful nor addictive.
In fact, some doctors advocate drinking small amounts of red wine for
its health benefits, especially for the heart. Consumption of small
quantities of alcohol is a matter of Christian freedom. Drunkenness and
addiction are sin. However, due to the biblical concerns regarding
alcohol and its effects, due to the easy temptation to consume alcohol
in excess, and due to the possibility of causing offense and/or
stumbling of others, it is often best for a Christian to abstain from
drinking alcohol. from: http://www.gotquestions.org
Does
that question sound strange. But seriously, what does it mean when you
say am a christian cause the truth is most people will get that answer
wrong. People feel my parents are Christians, automatically am a
christian, or my wife/husband is a christian which means am a christian.
If you are part of these groups, am sorry you are wrong. Before
I go on, let me first explain what a christian is and what it is all
about. Christian means Christian like, meaning nature and character of
Jesus Christ. And you can't know something one's character, till you
know the person, and you can't know Him till you accept Him. So, I asked
again, what is a christian or better still are you a christian?
The
truth of the matter is, most Christians don't even behave like
Christians, I have even seen pastor's behaving worst than even the
pagans.
In the bible Jesus said when some one slaps you on one
chick turn the other, I know easier said than done, but that is the
instruction giving to us by Christ Himself, the person we are meant to
have His character.
How can I become more like Christ?
God's
desire for all who know Him is for us to become more like Christ. We do
this by first growing in our knowledge of Christ. It stands to reason
that we cannot grow to be like someone we don’t know. The deeper our
knowledge of Christ, the deeper our understanding of Him, and the more
like Him we become. Among other reasons, we are to know and understand
Christ so that we will be secure in the faith.
The Apostle Paul
reiterates this truth inEphesians 4:14-16: "Then we will no longer be
infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by
every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in
their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will
in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From
him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting
ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its
work." This fact is repeated once more in2 Peter 3:17-18: "Therefore,
dear friends, since you already know this, be on your guard so that you
may not be carried away by the error of lawless men and fall from your
secure position. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and
Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen." These
passages show us that growing in the knowledge of Christ will preserve
us from faith-destroying error.
Of course, knowledge alone will
not produce a Christlike character. The knowledge we gain from God’s
Word must impact our hearts and convict us of the need to obey what we
have learned.Romans 12:1-2tells us emphatically that the process of
filling our minds with the knowledge of God not only brings us closer to
Christlikeness, but obedience to that knowledge aligns us with the
perfect will of God: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's
mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to
God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to
the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your
mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his
good, pleasing and perfect will."
The natural consequence of
knowing and obeying God is that He becomes greater and greater, while we
become less and less as we yield control of our lives to Him. Just as
John the Baptist knew that “[Jesus] must increase, but I must decrease”
(John 3:30), so the Christian grows to reflect more of Christ and less
of his own nature. Luke sums it up best when he describes what Jesus
told His disciples: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself
and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save
his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it"
(Luke 9:23-24). The cross was an instrument of death, and Jesus
encourages us to take up our cross in order to put to death our old sin
nature upon it. God wants us to forget about this world and all its
temporary pleasures and be obedient to His Word. Jesus is the living
Word (John 1:1), and the Bible is God's written Word. Therefore,
conforming to the Word of God is conforming to Christ.
It is
important to realize that becoming more like Christ starts by receiving
Him as Savior from our sins. Then we grow in our knowledge of God by
reading the Bible daily, studying it, and being obedient to what it
says. This process causes us to grow and occurs over an entire lifetime
in Christ. Only when we have entered Heaven for eternity with God does
this process reach its culmination.
Guys, can I be honest with you? Marriage can be hard.
Did you know that already?
Sometimes you do the wrong thing before you even knew you did the wrong
thing. You try to figure out the one you love the most, but the more
you try the more confused you get. I get it. I understand.
Men and women are different. (You can tweet that.)
We don’t always think and respond to life the same way.
And likely there are some things about your wife you just didn’t know.
Over the years, through counseling training and actual counseling—and
learning from my wife—I’ve observed some things. And I’ve realized some
men simply don’t know them—or don’t realize how important they are to
their wife.
Here are 7 things you may not know but you need to know about your wife:
You step on her feelings more than you know.
You just do. And you don’t even mean to—or know that you are most of
the time. She may think you do, but you don’t. You’re just not as aware
of how she’s wired emotionally. And most of the time she overlooks it.
She knows it wasn’t intentional. But it hurts. And the more you do it
the more it hurts. So, be careful with your words.
And that leads to the next one.
Your words are heavier than you think they are.
You need to know that. When she asks you how she looks, for
example—yes, it is a quandary on how to respond, and there are plenty of
jokes around about that dilemma—but your response matters. Probably
more than any other response of her day. It’s a small question to you
but big question for her. And you communicate things to her continually
through how you say what you say and the body language you combine with
your words. And they weigh a ton to her. A ton.
She wants you to take the lead.
At least occasionally. I know all the women’s rights issues cloud this
for you. It can be confusing, but there’s likely something in your wife
just waiting for you to make a decision. She values your input, and she
wants you to lead in the home as well as she sees that you can lead
elsewhere. And speaking on behalf of men, I know you don’t always want
to be the leader. She’s better at making many of the decisions than you
are. Still, she’s waiting—hoping, that you’ll step up where you need to
lead.
She doesn’t want to be like her mother.
Or to be compared to her mother. And these type jokes aren’t funny.
Ever. Trust me. In fact, she doesn’t want to be like any other woman
either. She wants to be seen for the unique wonder she is—which, by the
way, was God-designed.
She is likely with you even when she’s not.
At least in her mind. Our wives are very relational. So, if she asks
about your calendar, now you know. She’s not trying to be difficult or
suspicious. She’s trying to be with the one she loves.
It’s okay just to hold her hand.
And, also, to occasionally be romantic. You may have established a long
time ago that you’re not the romantic type. She may realize she married
funny—or serious—or dedicated—more than romantic. But every woman needs
a little romance occasionally. It makes her feel special—especially
when it comes from you.
The way her world looks is often how her heart feels.
All her world. The house, for example, you think it doesn’t matter, but
to her it reflects her—not you. She’s also conscious of what others
think of her appearance. She carries this burden heavier than she wants
to sometimes. Don’t diminish this to her. Understand it.
Two young ladies arrived to a meeting wearing clothes that were quite
revealing their body parts. Here is what the Chairman told them: He took
a good look at them and made them sit. Then he said something that,
they might never forget for the rest of their lives.
He looked at
them straight in the eyes and said; "ladies, everything that God has
valuable in this world is well covered and hard to see, find or get.
1. Where do you find DIAMONDS? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
2. Where do you find PEARLS? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.
3.
Where do you find GOLD? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers
of rock and to get them, you have to work hard & dig deep down to
get them.
He looked at them with serious eyes and said;
"Your
body is sacred & unique" You are far more precious than gold,
diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too. So he added that,
"If you keep your treasured mineral just like gold, diamond and pearls,
deeply covered up, a reputable mining organization with the requisite
machinery will fly down and conduct years of extensive exploration."
Then
he said, "First, they will contact your government (family), sign
professional contracts (wedding) and mine you professionally( legal
marriage). But if you leave your precious minerals uncovered on the
surface of the earth, you always attract a lot of illegal miners to come
and mine you illegally. Everybody will just pick up their crude
instruments and just have a dig on you just freely like that. So, keep
your bodies deeply covered so that it invite professional miners to
chase you
Wounds from a friend can hurt much more than those from an enemy.
It’s the kind of pain that cuts deep. It’s a wound that aches and throbs
and is slow to heal. The rejection’s unexpected, and therefore worse —
more painful.
We’ve all experienced rejection at some point in our lives. Whether
it’s being picked last for a game at recess or being turned down for a
job or being ridiculed for our faith, rejection from anyone hurts. But
rejection at the hand of a friend hurts even more. And the deeper the
friendship, the more excruciating the pain.
There is one thing that brings us hope in the midst of any rejection: Our Savior was rejected, too — even by his closest friends.
A Rejected Savior
Peter was one of Jesus’s most trusted friends. He was with Jesus from
the start of his ministry. He had walked away from his livelihood to
follow Christ. Peter was the first to claim Jesus as Lord and one of the
few that saw Jesus in all his glory at the Transfiguration. Because of
that history, the story of Peter’s denials is all the more poignant.
After Judas betrayed Jesus and the soldiers arrested him, Peter
followed them to the high priest’s house. As he stood outside by the
fire, waiting to hear what would happen, those in the courtyard
recognized him as one of Jesus’s followers.
“Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a
Galilean.” But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking
about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster
crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered
the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster
crows today, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept
bitterly. (Luke 22:59–62)
Our Savior knows the pain of broken friendships. He knows what it’s
like when friends fail us, reject us, and abandon us. “He was despised
and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3).
He was also rejected by those he had grown up with in his hometown of Nazareth (Mark 6:4).
Perhaps some who waved palm branches and laid down their cloaks as
Jesus entered Jerusalem just one week later were shouting, “Crucify
him!” At his arrest, all his disciples fled and abandoned him when he
needed them most (Matthew 26:31).
And on the cross, he bore the full weight of rejection when the Father
poured out his wrath upon him for our sins, “And at the ninth hour Jesus
cried with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means,
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34).
My Forever Faithful Friend
I’ve been rejected by friends a number of times in my life. The
confusion and shock of rejection is paralyzing. My mind can’t help but
rehearse the memories with suspicion. I walk back through the years I
spent with those who hurt me and wonder if I was wrong about everything I
had thought about our friendship. I can’t help but want to withdraw to
protect myself from further harm. I resist trusting others with my
heart. Even worse, I’m prone to harbor anger, resentment, and bitterness
toward those who hurt me.
But then I look at the Rejected. I look at the pain and abandonment he faced for me — because
of me — and it helps me face my rejections. The gospel — the good news
of what Jesus did through his life, death, and resurrection — gives me
hope in the midst of my pain. The sorrow I feel over broken
relationships reminds me of Jesus’s brokenness for me.
Even more, the gospel reminds me that I am just like Peter and the
disciples. Apart from God’s transforming grace in my heart, I would
always reject God’s love. I would deny and abandon him. Seeing
Jesus’s rejection, I’m reminded that I’ve been forgiven for far worse,
and it helps me let go of anger and bitterness, and instead extend
forgiveness.
The rejection Jesus endured shows me that he is my perfect forever
faithful friend. His love for me is not fickle. It’s not dependent upon
what I do for him, and it does not change. “Neither death nor life, nor
angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,
nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to
separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38–39).
When I am hurt by my friends, I always have a friend in Jesus. He
understands my pain and sorrow. He has compassion for my tears. He is
always with me, and I can always trust him.
As long as we live in this sin-stained world, we will all experience
rejection — even, maybe especially, from dear friends whom we have loved
and trusted for years. Jesus never promised to protect us from pain or
sorrow, but to be with us in it and eventually to deliver us through it
to himself.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, perhaps one of the more polarizing
holidays of our year. It’s very fun and exciting for the love birds, too
commercial and insincere for the skeptics, and sometimes especially
lonely for the single.
Singleness’s greatest sorrows are secretly reinforced every February
in the souls of the not-yet-married still waiting for their wedding day.
While many of our friends and family are inundated with dates, flowers,
chocolate, and love notes, lots and lots of the valentine-less are
overwhelmed with everything from impatience to bitterness, from shame to
regret to confusion.
There will likely be good-intentioned, lovingly-naive husbands and
wives who forget the emotional complexities of unwanted singleness and
enthusiastically encourage you to just enjoy this season of “dating
Jesus.” Yes, Jesus is our only hope and cure, but it won’t be in some
hopelessly romantic, chocolate-covered, neatly-wrapped way. The truth is
that the unfulfilled desire for a companion and lover, especially year
after year, much more often feels like the grief and bondage of
joblessness or infertility than the uninhibited emotional and devotional
freedom many imagine. “It is not good for man to be alone.”
The Full and Fruitful Single Life
We want our lives to be full and fruitful. We want to experience all
God has made and given us as much as possible, and we want our
experience in this short life to really count for his glory and the good
of others. Sadly too often in our not-yet-married lives, we’ve made
marriage a qualification for that kind of happiness and significance.
There’ve been days — a lot of days — when I really couldn’t imagine a
full and fruitful life without a wife.
But as much as God loves marriage, he didn’t design it to bear the
burden of our eternal purpose and happiness. From the beginning, it’s
been a means of experiencing and expressing a far greater union — union
with God, through his Son, by his Spirit. Paul says the key to
experiencing the freedom purchased for us at the cross is walking in the
newness of the Spirit (Galatians 5:16),
turning away from the desires of the flesh and filling ourselves with
new fruits — love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self–control (Galatians 5:22).
The free and full life is found in Christ and played out in
Christ-likeness, summed up in these nine prizes of the Christian life.
“As much as God loves marriage, he didn’t design it to bear the burden of our eternal purpose and happiness.”
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Looking for Produce in the Right Aisle
Perhaps the greatest sorrow of the single life is that so many put
off pursuing the produce of the Spirit until they get married. We
foolishly think finding love will mysteriously unlock these fruits in
our lives. It’s true that marriage very often brings sanctification, but
the testimony of many is that marriage is more diagnosis than
prescription in our pursuit of holiness. Rather than unlocking fruits,
it will more often (graciously) uncover flaws — flaws we will then trust
God to cleanse and correct.
In reality, none of the fruits of the Spirit are reserved for
marriage. They’re the produce of conversion (our union with Christ), not
of marriage (our union with a spouse). And fortunately for the
not-yet-married, the union that matters most doesn’t require a license
from your local county administrator. When we’re looking down the
wedding aisle expecting a bride or groom to finally make us happy and
fruitful, we’re looking for love, joy, and peace in the wrong places.
God’s already given his Spirit — and all his fruits — to every person
saved and satisfied in him — valentine or not.
Nine Fruits for Thought
Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44).
And his most effective means of starving our not-yet-married lives of
this soul-satisfying fruit are his lies. Lies about you. Lies about your
past. Lies about marriage. Lies about your future spouse. Lies about
your friends and family. And without a wife or husband, if we’re not
careful, we might find ourselves with a lot more time to listen to him.
If we’re going to fight for fruitfulness, we need to hear the lies as
lies and confront them with God’s invincible love for his children,
which he has given us in the truth of his promises. So here are nine
deceptions we singles need to defeat, each with a weapon from God’s
word, holding joy for last. Whether you personally struggle with each or
not, I hope every single promise equips every single person with a
joy-filled hope and resolve to make much of Jesus in this
not-yet-married life.
1. I’m selfish because I’m still single, and I don’t have anyone to care for my needs and feelings.
Sure, selfishness might be just as rampant in marriage — and
certainly more on display — but the single life by nature caters to and
cultivates it. Each day, you’ll make most of your decisions based on
what you need and want, and no one will really know the difference. But
as promising as self-centeredness and self-gratification might seem,
love offers a better promise.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7). The promise of love is the promise of God. Those who love meet more and more of the God who is love (4:8). And this love and this God are available to the married and not-yet-married alike.
2. I’m anxious because I’m still single, and I don’t know if God will ever bring me a spouse.
There may be more intense anxieties among young people in our church
than unfulfilled desires for marriage, but there also may not be a more
prevalent one. Fears and grief over love, relationships, and marriage
steal a lot of sleep and energy from our single people. Preoccupation
and self-pity in our inadequacies promises to make us feel better, but
it lacks any power to help. But God can give us real peace.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by
prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made
known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)
God has promised us peace in every circumstance and protection
against every evil plotted against us. Whether you meet your future
spouse this afternoon or live alone the rest of your life, God knows
your needs, promises to provide, and really can give you a peace-filled
rest and perspective at every point.
3. I’m impatient because I’m still single, and I’ve waited a long, long time to be married.
Amazon, Netflix, and smartphones have depreciated patience. It’s not really
true, but instant gratification has gratified us enough to make us
forget how priceless and beautiful patience really is. Do you appreciate
patience in yourself or others? You won’t find it applauded much online
and certainly not in most television today, so we’ll have to look in
other (more reliable) places.
God promises through Paul, “To those who by patience in well-doing
seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life” (Romans 2:7).
There are some things we can only have through patience. Glory. Honor.
Immortality. God. No technology will ever speed up the process. And the
muscles we need to wait well for God are built in our waiting for lesser
things, like weddings. All of our waiting is worth it, if through it we
get more and more of the one for whom our souls are all ultimately
waiting.
4. I can be cold and indifferent toward others because I’m still
single, and I have a hard enough time dealing with my own stuff.
Entitlement is one of the great dangers of singleness. It creeps into
everything, but at its core it convinces us to focus exclusively on us —
a kind of survival mentality — often at the expense of others. As
entitlement and self-preoccupation grow and invade our hearts, we become
less interested in and compassionate toward others. But the life-giving
fruit of the Spirit is kindness — an attitude of friendly sympathy and generosity.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
The beautiful, liberating promise behind our kindness is the kindness
of God to us in Christ. Those who put on Christ — and are found to be
kind in him — have received kindness from an almighty, holy God despite
what they deserve. Jesus says, “Love your enemies, and do good, and
lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and
you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil” (Luke 6:35). We’re kind because that’s the kind of kids God keeps.
5. I don’t value virtue and integrity like I should because I’m
still single. I’ll work on those things when I get married and have a
family.
One excuse for procrastination in our pursuit of holiness is that
single Christians are not yet accountable in the same ways as married
Christians, as if we’re somehow less human. When we have wives or
husbands or children that are affected by our attitudes and behaviors,
then it will really matter who we are and how we act. When a man and
woman get married, they do become one, but not more fully one than a single believer. Each and every Spirit-filled child of God is accountable to God regardless of our marital status (Romans 14:12). And each and every Spirit-filled child of God has access to the blessings of God-wrought goodness in this life.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they
shall be satisfied. . . . Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall
see God” (Matthew 5:6, 8). Blessed
— happy — are single men and women who love and pursue goodness and
virtue and integrity. And the blessing comes right now in your
not-yet-married, not-yet-perfect pursuit of God and his righteousness.
His divine power has granted to us all things that
pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called
us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his
precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become
partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that
is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue. (2 Peter 1:3–5)
With the very power of God on your side, supplement your faith and singleness with goodness.
6. I’m flakey and unreliable because I’m still single, and you can’t expect single people to make or keep commitments.
At our worst, some of us really love this about singleness. Those who
haven’t settled down feel the freedom to move from one thing to the
next, to leave old responsibilities and obligations for fresh new
things. It could be a new job or church or relationship or even city.
People put off marriage to avoid commitment and keep their felt freedom.
But as free as flakiness feels, the Bible teaches us to love faithfulness, devotion, and fidelity in every stage of life.
“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always
abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor
is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58).
When life, work, relationships, or ministry becomes hard, inconvenient,
or mundane, our consistent, selfless investments in those around us
reveal our faith in God’s exciting, unfailing work. When it seems on the
outside like it might not be worth it, we rest, work, and stay knowing every sacrifice in this life for the sake of Christ is never in vain.
In the Spirit, against the patterns of the twenty-somethings around
us, we can set aside our selfish and impulsive ambitions in order to be
faithful members of a local church, engaged in long-term ministry to our
community, and slow to walk away from God’s work, however hard and
uncelebrated it might be. And we rejoice in this kind of endurance,
because, “endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and
hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into
our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3–5).
7. I’m harsh with others because I’m still single, and they don’t understand how hard I have it.
Our responses to being harmed say a lot about the state of our heart.
How do you react to people who misunderstand, overlook, or minimize the
pain of your not-yet-marriedness? Though good-intentioned, they
unwittingly offend you with their advice, questions, or indifference.
You feel justified in your anger, expressed in an insensitive word or
violent, bitter thought toward them. But God rewards gentleness in the face of offense.
He encourages us and our teachers to patiently endure evil, “correcting opponents with gentleness.
God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the
truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of
the devil, after being captured by him to do his will” (2 Timothy 2:25–26).
Ultimately, God corrects and directs hearts. We’re not called to
inflict judgment on one another, but to clothe ourselves in the grace
and gentleness with which God has shown us. You might be right to be
offended, but you will not solve it with a second offense. God calls us
instead to gentleness, and promises to do the harder work of redemption
and retaliation for us.
8. I’m undisciplined and keep sinning because I’m still single. The
freedom feels good and no one knows, cares, or is affected by my
behavior.
There’s no unchecked life like the single life. It can be very easy
to live wildly and unwisely when we live in isolation. Our flesh wants
us to eat more of this, drink more of that, buy more of this, and watch
more of that. None of these things is necessarily bad by nature, but our
unchecked sinful cravings will eventually lead us into more sin and
idolatry. Enjoying all God has created as God intended will require self-control
— saying no enough to show we enjoy him more than any of his gifts. And
the rewards of restraint in this life are absolutely worth it.
“Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable” (1 Corinthians 9:25). When we forsake food, drink, television, sports, shopping, websites, anything
in this life for the sake of having and enjoying Christ, we take
another step toward an infinite, imperishable inheritance kept in heaven
for us (1 Peter 1:4; Matthew 6:20).
Marriage can offer the up-close and personal accountability you might
not have in your singleness. Self-control, though, is a fruit of the
Spirit, not a spouse. Look to God for strength, “for it is God who works
in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure,” and your
self-control (Philippians 2:13).
“Enjoying all God has created as God intended will require self-control.”
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9. I’m depressed and miserable because I’m still single, and I won’t really be happy until I get married.
Any not-yet reality in our lives is accompanied with pain and
longing. We don’t hear too many testimonies of the “happily
not-yet-married,” at least not among Christians. Unwanted singleness can
be very lonely, and loneliness can be very miserable. In those moments,
the really compelling lie is that marriage will be the most satisfying
solution. Sadly, looking to marriage and a spouse to fill the hole only
God can fill will only leave you more depressed and hurt. God graciously
gives us another answer for joy.
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is
fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).
In Jesus — the way, the truth, and the life — God has shown us the
paths of life and happiness, and it’s not the path between the pews at
your future wedding. It’s the scandalous marriage of a holy God to his
chosen, sinful, and forgiven bride, the church. Jesus lived, died, and
rose again for our joy — even in singleness. He said, “These things I
have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be
full” (John 15:11).
The seed of every other fruit of the Spirit is a deep, enduring
satisfaction in Jesus. A lack of love communicates you treasure yourself
more than Jesus and the people he purchased by his blood. Our anxiety
tells God we’re not happily content to have him and his fatherly plan
(and timing) for our lives. Impatience says the Jesus you already have
is not enough. An inability to say no suggests you believe this food,
purchase, or website will make you more happy than Jesus. But real joy
in Jesus, through the gospel, will free you from the poisonous fruit of
sin.
Can Singleness Separate Us from the Love of God?
What can separate us from the love of God? “Shall tribulation, or
distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?”
(Romans 8:35).
Shall singleness? “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors
through him who loved us” (8:37). Nothing — certainly not our marital
status — can keep us from receiving and fulfilling all that God has
become for us in Jesus. His favor already rests on you. His power is at
work in you. His word will lead you. His grace is able to sustain you.
God really can satisfy you and make you very, very fruitful right now.
Yes, even single you.
Valentine’s Day is a human-created holiday. As it appeals to our
desires for love and marriage, it can have the deceiving power to divert
our attention and priorities from God’s plan and perspective. We know,
though, that “the flower fades” — every single rose — “but the word of
our God will stand forever” (Isaiah 40:8).
Step back and be amazed how short Valentine’s Day, marriage, and even
our lives really are by comparison to glory. Know that they will all
pass away in an instant and pale in beauty, worth, and happiness before
an eternity with our Savior — an eternity we taste today in the fruits
of his Spirit.
Some of a single person’s darkest days fall after a breakup.
You risked your heart. You shared your life. You bought the gifts, made the memories, and dreamed your dreams together
— and it fell apart. Now, you’re back at square one in the quest for
marriage, and it feels lonelier than square one, and further from the
altar, because of all you’ve spent and lost.
No one begins dating someone hoping to break it off someday. The
wiring in most of us has us longing for the wedding day. We’re looking,
sometimes it feels frantically, for love, for affection and security and
companionship and commitment and intimacy and help. After all, God seems to want most of us to be married (Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 18:22; 1 Corinthians 7:2, 9). But that sure hasn’t made getting married easy.
The Pain of Intimacy Without Matrimony
The reality is that good, Christ-exalting relationships very often
fail before the ceremony, never to be recovered romantically. The pain
cuts deeper and lingers longer than most pain young people have felt in
their lives. I feel it deeply even typing these words. It’s one of the
hardest things for me to write or speak about: the pain of intimacy that
fell short of matrimony.
Breakups in the church are painful and uncomfortable, and many of us
have or will walk this dark and lonely road. So here are nine lessons
for building hope and loving others when Christians end a not-yet
marriage.
1. It’s okay to cry — and you probably should.
Breakups almost always hurt. Maybe you didn’t see it coming, and the
other person suddenly wants out. Maybe you were convinced it needed to
end, but knew how hard it would be to tell them. Maybe you’ve been
together for years. Maybe you love their family and friends. Without the
ceremony and covenant, it’s not a divorce, but it can feel like it.
It feels like divorce for a reason. You weren’t made for this misery.
God engineered romance to express itself in fidelity and loyalty — in
oneness (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:2–13).
Because dating is only a means to marriage, God’s design for our
marriages speaks to his design for our dating relationships. Dating that
dives in too quickly or dumps too carelessly does not reflect God’s
intention.
This doesn’t mean every dating relationship should end in marriage,
but it does mean breakups will hurt. Sorrow in the midst of the severing
is not only appropriate, but good. It’s nothing to hide or be ashamed
of. God created you to enjoy and thrive in love that lasts, like
Christ’s lasting love for his bride. So feel free to feel, and know that
the pain points to something beautiful about your God and his undying
love for you.
And if it doesn’t hurt, it probably should. If you can come in and
out of romance without pain or remorse, something sounds out of sync.
This doesn’t mean you have to be ruined by every breakup, but there
should be a sense that this isn’t right — it’s not how it’s supposed to
be. Hearts weren’t built to be borrowed. God needs to show some of us
the gravity of failed relationships because of what they wrongly suggest
about him and his love for the church.
“God created you to enjoy and thrive in love that lasts. Hearts weren’t built to be borrowed.”
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2. Don’t try again too quickly.
Knowing and embracing God’s design for permanence in marriage and
dating will help us feel appropriately, but it will also help us take
healthy next steps in our pursuit of marriage. One of the worst and most
popular mistakes is moving on to the next one too soon. Especially in
the age of online dating and social media, we really don’t have to work
very hard to find another prospect.
Affection can be an addiction. If you’ve been on dates, held hands,
seen smiles, exchanged notes, experienced the sweetness of another’s
attention and affirmation, you will want more. And the easiest way to
find it is to rebound right away. But if we care about God, our witness,
our ex, and our future significant other, we’ll wait, pray, and date
patiently and carefully. It’s too easy to leave a trail of wounded
people behind in our pursuit of a partner.
It’s a lie to think that you’re not moving toward marriage if you’re
not dating someone right now. Sometimes the best thing you can do for
your future spouse is to not date. If your history looks serial, you
might need to break up with dating for a while. It can be a time to
regroup, grow, and discover a new rhythm for your future relationship.
3. You may have failed, but God didn’t.
The relationship may be over because of a specific character flaw or
failure. There are things about us — weaknesses or patterns of behavior —
that may disqualify us for marriage with a particular person. But it
does not nullify God’s grace to and through you.
Sin in relationships is some of the most visible and painful. As we
let each other further and further into our lives and hearts, the sin is
more likely to show itself and to cut the other person more deeply. In
the right measure, it is the good and proper risk of all Christian
fellowship. As people come closer, and we need this in true Christian
community, our sin inevitably becomes more dangerous. Our mess is more
likely to splash onto others, and theirs on us.
But whoever has done the failing in your breakup, it wasn’t God.
Because of Jesus, his promises never to leave or forsake you are true
every moment and in every relationship status. If you are trusting in
Christ for the forgiveness of your sin and striving to follow him and
his word, God has never abandoned you, and he will never abandon you.
God didn’t take a break from loving you in your breakup — even if you’re
the reason it’s over. His purposes are bigger than your blunders.
4. You are better having loved and lost.
There’s a unique shame and brokenness associated with breakups.
Relationships and love may be celebrated more in the church than
anywhere else because we (rightly) love marriage so much. Unfortunately,
these same convictions often make breakups an uncomfortable
conversation — at best embarrassing and at worst scandalous or
humiliating.
You feel like damaged goods, like you’ve been ruined in God’s eyes or
in the eyes of others. The hard-to-believe, but beautiful truth is that
broken-up you is a better you. If in your sorrow you turn to
the Lord and repent of whatever sin you brought to this relationship,
you are as precious to your heavenly Father as you have ever been, and
he is using every inch of your heartache, failure, or regret to make you
more of what he created you to be and to give you more of what he
created you to enjoy — himself.
When one prize is stripped away, we can graciously be reminded of how little we have apart from Christ and
the fortune he’s purchased for us with his blood. He has become for us
wisdom for the foolish, righteousness for sinners, sanctification for
the broken, and redemption for the lost and afraid (1 Corinthians 1:30)
— and affection and security and identity for the lonely man or woman
reeling after the end of a relationship. So even in the aftermath of a
breakup we have reason to boast, as long as our boast is in everything
Christ is for us (1 Corinthians 1:31).
In Jesus, God is always and only doing good to you. There’s no
circumstance facing you that he’s not engineering to give you deep and
durable life and freedom and joy. He loves our lasting joy in him much
more than he loves our temporary comfort today. He’ll make the trade any
day, and we can be glad he does. Know that God is doing good, even when we feel worst.
“Because of God’s good and sovereign grace, you are better having loved and lost.”
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5. Even if you can’t be friends now, you will be siblings forever.
For Christian relationships, breakups are never the end. Whether it sounds appealing now or not, you will be together forever (Revelation 7:9–10). And you’ll do so in a new world where no one is married, and everyone is happy (Matthew 22:30; Psalm 16:11). Sounds too good to be true, right? So what would it mean to move on and think about our ex in light of eternity?
While you will meet again and forever in heaven, you may not be able
to be friends now. And that is not necessarily sinful. In fact, in many
cases, the healthiest thing emotionally and spiritually will be to
create some space and boundaries. Hearts that have been given away, at
whatever level, need to heal and develop new expectations again.
Reconciliation does not require closeness. It does require
forgiveness and brotherly love. You could start by praying for them,
even when you can’t handle talking to them. Pray that their faith would
increase, that God would bring believing brothers or sisters around
them, that he would heal and restore their heart, that he would make
them more like Jesus.
We need to learn to live today in our relationships, old and new, in
light of our eternity together. Our patience, kindness, and forgiveness
in breakups will shine beautifully next to the selfish, vindictive
responses modeled in reality TV and adopted thoughtlessly by the rest of
the world.
6. “It’s not you, it’s God” is not enough.
It might be one of the most popular Christian break-up lines, “God is
leading me to do this.” “God told me we need to break up.” “I saw a
vision in a bush on my way to class and we weren’t together.” All of
them can probably be summed up like this, “Look, it’s not you, it’s
God.”
God very well may lead you to a breakup, but don’t use him as a
scapegoat. Own your own sin and ask for forgiveness where it is needed.
Then be honest about how you came to this decision, how he made this
direction clear to you. Sure, some things will be intangible, but find
the tangible factors. This is not a license to say harmful things, but
helpful things, even if they may hurt initially.
First, it’s wise not to be alone in your opinion about the need to
break up. Yes, your boyfriend or girlfriend may not agree, but you need
to share and confirm your perspective with someone who loves Jesus and
both of you. Go to someone you know can assess your heart in wanting to
get out. If it can be a married man or woman, all the better. Talk to
someone who knows what it takes to persevere in marriage, and see what
they think about your “deal-breaker(s)” in the relationship.
Our imagination, especially in an emotional crisis, can be a lethal
weapon that Satan leverages against us for evil. When we leave
everything vague and spiritual, our ex will not, and the majority of
what their mind creates will be lies from the devil to destroy them.
Give them enough information about how God led you to this decision
without crushing them or tearing them down.
I say “enough” because there are lots of true-but-unhelpful things
you could say. Again, run your talking points past a Christian brother
or sister before taking them to your soon-to-be ex. In the end, they
don’t have to agree with you, but it’s loving to help them toward the
clarity and closure you’re feeling. It just may free them to grow and
move forward sooner and with fewer questions.
7. Your Father knows your needs.
You’re probably questioning this in the wake of your breakup, but God
does know what you need, and he’s never too slow to provide it. He
might reveal things to you about the things you thought you needed. Or
he might simply show you how much more you need him than anything or
anyone else.
God feeds the unemployed birds of the air (Matthew 6:26).
God grows the flowers of the field and makes them beautiful, even
though they’ll be cut, stomped, eaten, or frozen in a matter of days or
weeks (Matthew 6:28–30). How much more will this Father care and provide for his blood-bought children?
When you ask for a husband, he won’t give you a snake. When you ask
for a wife, he won’t give you a scorpion. Even when it looks like he’s
done you harm, he hasn’t. He loves you. He knows what’s best for you.
And all things are at his disposal. All things.
One way God provides for us through breakups is by making it clear —
by whatever means and for whatever reason — this relationship was not
his plan for our marriage. The heart of Christian dating
is looking for clarity more than intimacy. This probably won’t taste
sweet in the moment, but if you treasure clarity, breakups won’t be all
bad news. We all know some of the news we need most is hardest for a
time, but fruitful down the road.
Trust him to provide for you each day (or year) whether you get
married or not. If you do get married, know that he will bring the
imperfect man or woman you need.
8. Learn from love lost.
One of Satan’s greatest victories in a breakup is convincing a guy or
girl, “It was all the other person’s fault, and I’ve already arrived as
a future husband or wife.” The reality is no one — married or not — has
fully arrived this side of glory. We are all flawed and filled with the Spirit, so we will all always be learning and growing as people and spouses — present or future.
After the emotional tidal wave has crashed and passed, take some time
alone and then with close friends to assess where God’s carrying you —
who he’s making you to be — through this. Identify an area or areas
where you want to strive to be more gracious or more discerning or more
faithful — more like Jesus — moving forward.
You won’t have many relational crossroads more intense, personal, and
specific as a breakup, so it truly is a unique time for some hopeful,
healthy introspection, checked and balanced by some other believers.
9. Jesus will help you find joy in the shadows of heartbreak.
When we’re left alone and feeling abandoned, it’s really hard to
believe anyone knows what we’re going through. That may even be true of
the good-intentioned people around you. It is not true of Jesus.
This Jesus came and was broken to give hope to the broken. “A bruised
reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench, until
he brings justice to victory; and in his name the Gentiles will have
hope” (Matthew 12:20–21).
The joy is not in knowing that Jesus had it hard, too. Not much
comfort there. The joy is in knowing that the one who suffered in your
place died and rose again to end suffering for his saints. God saved the
world and defeated death through his suffering, and your suffering in
the midst of your walk with Jesus — in this case, in a breakup — unites
you to that victory, the greatest victory ever won. For those who hope
in Jesus, all pain — unexpected cancer, unfair criticism, an unwanted
break up — was given an expiration date and repurposed until then to
unite us in love to our suffering Savior.
Jesus went before the broken-hearted to pave the way for joy in pain.
We live, survive, and thrive by looking to him, “who for the joy that
was set before him endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2).
His joy before the wrath of God against sin is our first and greatest
reason to fight for joy — not just survival — after a breakup.
If you believe that, then make the most of this breakup, knowing God
has chosen this particular path to grow and gratify you in ways that
last. No relationship you have in this life will last forever, but the
good things that happen through them in you — even through their
sorrows, yes even through their collapses — will.
We were recently on a vacation when God interrupted my plans. My
family and I had traveled hundreds of miles to stay at a hotel on the
beach. I had made arrangements to spend one day visiting with friends.
But then, in the middle of the night, the night before my scheduled day
out, one of my kids woke up sick. I spent the whole next day stuck
inside, staring out the hotel window at the long stretch of beach that
was just outside of my reach.
An Interrupted Life
My life is filled with interruptions, inconveniences, frustrations,
and unexpected events. Things break. Accidents happen. The phone rings
just as I climb into bed. Traffic makes me late. Just when we don’t need
another added expense, an appliance breaks. Unexpected illnesses change
my carefully crafted plans. I could go on and on. You probably could
too.
The problem is, I usually handle these interruptions to my life
poorly. I react with frustration and anger. Like a young child, I want
to stomp my feet and say, “It’s not fair!” I blame others for
inconveniencing me. I’ll even throw my own pity-parties.
Though these interruptions are unexpected and catch me off guard,
they do not catch God off guard. They are not random, meaningless
events. In fact, these interruptions are divinely placed in my path for a
reason. God uses these interruptions to change me to be more like
Christ.
Slow traffic, a sick child, or a costly home repair may not seem like
important tools in our sanctification, but they are. We often overlook
these interruptions and inconveniences and instead expect God to work in
our lives through huge life-changing circumstances. But the reality is,
we won’t often have major events in our life that cause us to trust God
and obey him in some deeply profound way. We won’t be called to build
an ark or take an only child up Mt. Moriah. Rather, it’s in these small
frustrations and interruptions, the little things in our life, where we
are given opportunities to rely on God, to obey him, and bring him
glory.
Paul Tripp puts it like this:
You and I don’t live in a series of big, dramatic
moments. We don’t careen from big decision to big decision. We all live
in an endless series of little moments. The character of a life isn’t
set in ten big moments. The character of a life is set in ten thousand
little moments of everyday life. It’s the themes of struggles that
emerge from those little moments that reveal what’s really going on in
our hearts. (Whiter Than Snow, 21)
Interruptions of Grace
These ten thousand little moments come in the form of our children
asking us to play a game with them when we are tied up with something
else. They are moments like when we get stuck behind a school bus when
we’re already late to an appointment, or when we have a flat tire on the
way to work. They are in all those moments all throughout the day when
things don’t go our way, our plans fail, and our life is interrupted.
It’s these moments where the rubber meets the road — where our faith
is stretched and we look down to see whether we are standing on rock or
sand. Do we really believe that God is in control of all the details of
our life? Do we really believe that his grace is sufficient to get us
through the day? Do we really believe that the gospel of Christ is
powerful enough to not only save us for eternity but also to sustain and
strengthen us in the midst of life’s interruptions? Do we really
believe that Christ is enough to satisfy all the deepest needs of our
heart?
These interruptions are acts of God’s grace. They force us to work
through these questions. They make us face our sin. They are God’s way
of taking off our blinders and making us see that we need the gospel in
every moment of the day. They are a light that shines on the darkest
recesses of our heart, revealing the truth of what’s really there — the
sins and idols that we’ve pushed off into the corner, thinking that if
we can’t see them, they must not exist.
The Reminder We Need
These interruptions remind us that we don’t have life figured out and
that we can’t do it on our own. They are like the Shepherd’s rod,
pulling us back from our wandering ways, back to our Great Shepherd. We need
these interruptions. Like nothing else, they push us to the cross of
Christ where we must remember the gospel and receive his grace and
forgiveness.
It’s hard to see all the little frustrating events and interruptions
in our day as divinely placed opportunities to grow in grace, but they
are. And seeing them as such helps us take our eyes off ourselves and
put them on Christ, who cares more about our transformation than about
our daily comfort. Rather than giving us a life of ease, he interrupts
our lives with grace and shows us what we need most of all — himself.
How about you? Is your life filled with interruptions? Do you see God’s hand at work in them?
